When someone we love dies, we can feel a whole range of emotions, sad, lonely, angry, even happy and sometimes not feel anything at all. You may find your feelings change very quickly or you may feel lots of emotions all at the same time.

This is all completely normal and hopefully with the support of friends and family you will feel better with time.

There are many things you can do if you are struggling:

• Getting a good night’s sleep and eating well – often these are the areas where people struggle with thoughts and feelings affecting our appetite and energy levels. However, if we are tired or ‘hangry’ it can make it harder for us to cope with the every day, let alone living with a loss. Try to keep to a routine of eating and sleeping properly each day, you can see real benefits in your wellbeing.

• Getting regular exercise – looking after our physical health can help our mental health. Whether its playing football, hitting the gym, or simply walking to the shops, exercise makes us feel good as well as giving an opportunity to get out of the house.

• Keeping in touch with friends and family – whether meeting in person, talking on video calls, or texting, feeling connected to other people can help with feeling ‘alone in your loss’. You don’t need to talk about the person who has died, you can just chat about what you’ve been up to or how you’ve been feeling. Think about who supports you, how they help, and then get in touch.

• Do the things you enjoy – read a book, play video games, cook your favourite meal, do whatever you would normally be doing and may have stopped. Having fun is big part of having a balanced routine; it can be a distraction from thinking about your loss or a way of remember the person who died if it was something you used to do together.

• Make a memorial – if you are struggling with memories of the person who died coming to you all the time, it can help if you on create a memorial which you can turn to when you want to focus on thinking of them. You can make a box of things that link to memories of them, collect photos into an album, or create a playlist of their favourite music. You may want to keep these private or share them with other people, it’s your choice.

It can often feel hard to know how to best support someone who is grieving. People can worry about saying the wrong thing.

After speaking to young people that we work with, we have put together a list of things that may help.

• Acknowledge their loss. Try not to say that you know how they feel as grief can be different for everyone. Instead, you could say ‘I am so sorry to hear about your (mum/dad/grandparent etc.), it must be very difficult for you. Please know that I am here for you.’

• Listen to them. Let them know that you are interested and available. Let them take the lead.

• Mention their loved one. Sometimes the person that is grieving won’t bring up their loved one due to fear of making it awkward for others. Don’t be afraid to mention the person that has died and to share memories of them. If you aren’t sure about what to say, you could start by asking them what their loved one was like, what they enjoyed doing etc. They may want to talk about them. If they don’t, they will let you know. Respond by letting them know that you understand and are available if they do want to talk.

• Let them know that you are there for them and check in on them regularly as they may not always reach out for support. Don’t take it personally if they don’t always reply, your message will let them know that you are thinking of them.

• If you post a picture of the person that has died online, consider the impact that this may have on those that are grieving. Sharing a photo can be a way of showing appreciation but, it may be hard for them to see when they are not expecting it. Perhaps let them know in advance that you are going to post it.

• Remember key dates such as Birthday’s and anniversaries as these dates can be difficult and they may need some extra support. If it is their parent that has died, then Mothers’ Day and/or Father’s Day may be a difficult time for them. You could try letting them know that you are thinking of them by sending a message or a card.

• Consider practical ways that you may be able to support them. Normal day to day tasks may seem difficult for someone who is grieving, by helping with practical tasks may take some of the pressure off.

• Be a helpful distraction by doing something with them. Try inviting them for a walk, a drink or doing something that you know that they enjoy. You could plan something with them for the future as this might give them something positive to look forward to. Even if they so no, they will likely appreciate that you thought of them and that you asked.

• Don’t assume that they are Ok. Some people may seem like they are doing Okay when they aren’t, even if a long period of time has passed since their loved one has died. Grief means that there may be times that they feel like they are managing but then may be hit with deep sadness.

• Don’t compare. Grief is different to each individual and there is no wrong or right way to grieve. Try not to have any expectations on what grief should be like or when someone should be ‘feeling better’ as this will be unique to each person.